A Beast's Death, A Raven's Grief
by DarkEyedDemon
Summary: Okay, this is my first completed fanfic. Basically Beast Boy has died and this is about Raven trying to deal with it. A one-shot because it's my first shot...I'll stop talking now.


Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. Someone else does. Someone who probably has more money then me. sob

Raven tossed and turned in her bed. Sleep hadn't come to easily these past few nights, and when it did it was not pleasurable. She was constantly haunted by dreams of the event that shook all of the Titans to their souls. The dreams were always so vivid it was almost as if she was reliving the experience.

"Titans, don't let it reach the reactor!" shouted Robin. The Titans had chased an android into the center of a massive nuclear power plant, which it intended to blow up. The robot bore the large orange "s" of all of Slade's minions.

"If that core blows, the whole city goes with it!" Cyborg said. Robin drew his bo staff and charged the android. But for every attack he executed the machine bent and swayed to adapt to his tactics. Raven used her telekinesis to bring two plates from the metal walls smashing in towards the fiendish device. The android flipped up above the two sheets of steel and began dodging Starfire's starbolts and Cyborg's plasma cannon.

Beast Boy waited patiently for his opening and found it. He transformed into a yak and while it was distracted shoved the android away from the reactor. Beast Boy then changed into a wolf and ran at the machine, intent on finally destroying it. Unfortunately for him, he didn't notice the android's fingers become as sharp as blades.

Robin saw the change and shouted, "Beast Boy, no!" But it was too late. Beastboy leapt at the robot and it thrust its hand towards him, its claws extending through his stomach.

"Beast Boy!!" they all yelled in unison. The robot retracted its claws and let Beastboy slump to the ground. "Beast Boy!"

"Beast Boy!" Raven had snapped awake and was now sitting up in her bed, breathing heavily. She looked around and as her eyes got used to the gloom she recognized her room. She put her face in her hands, her heart filling with grief. It had been nearly two months since they had fought with the android. After it had stabbed their friend the Titans ripped the machine apart in their rage, but it didn't matter. Raven pulled herself out of bed and went to the kitchen to make herself some tea. As she walked through the hallway she passed the room that still had BB's name on it in black letters. Everyone in Titan's Tower could remember the day they had been given the horrible news.

Raven, Starfire, Robin, and Cyborg waited anxiously outside of a hospital room. None of them spoke, for no words were needed. Finally a doctor came out of the room looking at a clipboard. "I'm afraid I have bad news. When your friend suffered that injury, he was injected with an unidentifiable substance. Although we don't know what it is, we know that it is slowly eating his cells away, and he doesn't have long to live. I'm sorry, but there is nothing I can do." All of the Titans remained silent as the doctor said the BB wished to see each of them one at a time. Each one went in, Robin and Cyborg coming out with moist eyes, but Starfire didn't show as much control, letting tears stream freely down her face. Raven was called in last and she approached BB's bed slowly. He looked up at her and gave a weak smile as he always tried to do.

"Beast Boy, the doctor..." Raven began.

"I know, the others told me," he cut her off. "I guess I should've listened to all of you and not charged in."

"Beast Boy..." Raven was at a loss for words. They both knew the inevitable truth and their was nothing that could be done.

He still smiled as he let his eyelids come closer together. "Raven, I know I've kind of gotten on your nerves since we've known each other, and I'm sorry. I just wanted to make you smile."

"Beast Boy, you shouldn't apologize. You were just being yourself; I can't hold that against you."

He finally let his eyes close. "Thanks, that really means a lot to me to hear you say that. Raven, I..." but he couldn't finish his sentence. With one last exhale Beastboy passed from the world of the living.

Raven was brought from her recollection as she felt a trail of soft warmness down her face. She was surprised to find that she was crying. She quickly wiped the tear away and headed back to her room, thinking that she would just wait until the morning for her tea. She settled back down into her bed and fell into a fitful sleep until the sun peeked its way above the horizon. She got out of bed and got dressed then went out to the living room to see all of the other Titans sitting around quietly. It had been quiet every day since they lost Beastboy. No one needed to say anything to get the feeling of depression across. Raven adopted her usual dead-pan face as she crossed the room to retrieve one of her books and retreated towards her room when Starfire spoke up.

"Raven? How are you feeling this day?"

"Fine," she muttered, although it wasn't true to her actual feelings.

"Perhaps you would like to spend the day with us? We could..."

"No thanks. I need to be alone, I'll be in my room." With that she walked quickly through the hallway lest Starfire try to hold her back more. She did stand up and begin to follow but Robin stopped her.

"Let her go Star, she always works things like this out alone. It's better if we let her be." With a look of defeat she went back to her seat. Raven opened the door to her room, entered, and let it hiss closed behind her while she activated the locking mechanism with her power. She sat down on the bed and opened the book but couldn't concentrate on it for long. Her mind always wandered back to Beastboy and his unbreakable optimism. Sighing, she put down her book and exited her room, heading towards his. She opened the door and stepped in. The room had been cleared of all the junk that had previously littered the floor. Raven walked up to BB's former bunk bed and ran her hand along one of the end poles. She became lost in her memories once more until something caught her eye. On the desk at one end of the room there was a lone piece of paper, folded over several times. She picked up the paper and was surprised to see her name written on it. She listened to see if anyone was approaching down the hall then opened up the letter and read.

_Dear Raven,_

_I'm sorry I have to get this to you in writing, but every time I try to talk to you I lose my nerve. Out of all the Titans, I treasure our friendship the most and I hope I don't ruin it with what I'm about to say. I've always had feelings for you, I don't know if you feel the same. Then again, if you did I guess we all wouldn't be in one piece because of your powers. It's okay if you really don't like me back, but I thought I had to get this out._

_Your friend,_

_ Beast Boy_

Once more Raven felt the warm trail down both of her cheeks. She was crying once more but she didn't bother to wipe the tears away. She held the note to her chest in both hands and cried openly. She truly had feelings for Beast Boy no matter how hard she tried to hide them. As she sobbed black tendrils of energy began to curve from her body, cracking the mirror above the desk. Struggling to contain her tears she chanted her mantra to stop her uncontrollable powers. When she was calmed down she put the note in one of the drawers and closed it. Seeing it anymore would only bring her more grief for the feelings she knew she couldn't afford to have for him. She spent the rest of the day meditating to control her sorrow, burying it deep within her soul. She meditated right through dinner and when she snapped out of her trance it was 11:00. Sighing she climbed under the covers of her bed and fell rather quickly asleep, only to be visited by dreams of her fallen friend.

She stood in a world of only darkness. Everywhere she turned there was nothing but black, no landscape to speak of. Unable to bear the crushing loneliness from this plane, Raven falls to her knees. But then she hears a voice, a warm familiar voice. She looked up to see Beast Boy holding out a hand to help her up. She grabbed his hand and he pulled her to her feet.

"Beast Boy..." His smile brought warmth through her body. Without thinking she wrapped her arms around him but she couldn't feel the heat that comes from a living being. He continued to stand in the same position with the same expression as she pulled away. "Beast Boy?..." She reached out her hand to touch him and he shattered like glass. Her eyes widened with fear as the shards disappeared into the darkness.

She awoke once more in her gloomy room. She just wanted to go back to sleep, to be with her friend once more, but she knew it wasn't real. With great effort she pulled herself from her bed and got dressed then headed out to the living room. She found a note left for her by the other Titans.

_Raven,_

_We've gone food shopping and won't be back for a while._

She put the note back and sat in one of the chairs. She looked up at the table that stood in front of the TV and noticed a picture that had been placed there. Raven guessed it was from Starfire since the frame was covered in brightly colored flowers. She picked up the picture and saw that was one of all the Titans at the park. Her eyes grew moist as she put the picture back then retreated to her room, digging through her desk drawers. She pulled out a picture that she herself had saved, even though everyone thought she had disposed of it.

It was a picture that Cyborg had taken of Beast Boy kissing Raven's cheek. He seemed perfectly happy but her eyes were wide with shock and she was blushing madly. She had always treasured the photo as a glimpse of what she could never truly have. She finally snapped, she couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't take the crushing loneliness that came because of Beast Boy's death. Clutching the picture tightly she levitated out of her window and away from the city. She reached the edge of the long canyon that sat just a mile away from town and landed. Raven held the photo in front of her and began to cry once more, but this time she intended to lose control, she wanted to let her powers loose.

The black energy coursed from her body again, cracking the earth. As her powers broke loose, her ability to contact the dead escaped and she found herself inside the black void again with a vague shape running towards her. She squinted and saw that it was Beast Boy, or at least his spirit. She ran towards him and threw herself into his arms as she wept.

"Raven!" he spoke to her. "Raven, you have to stop this!"

"I don't want to!" she cried through her sobs. "I just want to be with you, but I only can through death! I'm tired of having to keep my emotions bottled up inside, I'm tired of always having to be strong!"

He brought her face to his so that they were eye to eye. "Raven listen to me, you have to keep living. Killing yourself won't make things better. You just have to be strong once more. I know you'll never forget me, but soon you will find another, you will find happiness!"

"I don't want to find another, I want you!" She threw herself into his arms again, feeling secure for the first time in her life.

"Raven, if you die then my life will have been wasted." She looked up at him confused. "Do you know why I always fought all those criminals so hard? I was doing it for you! If that thing had gotten to the reactor, I wasn't thinking about myself or the city or any of that! I was thinking of what would happen to you!"

"Oh Beast Boy..." Her tears cascaded freely as she stared into his eyes. "I...I will try to stay strong." She felt the warmth of his lips against hers and her heart raced. She brought her hand up to touch the side of his face, the face she had wanted to touch for years but could never do it. They broke away and Raven could feel the world slipping away from her. "Beast Boy...Beast Boy I love you!" she shouted.

"I love you too..." were his fading words as she was brought back to reality. The ground around her was completely ravaged from her outburst. She brought herself to her feet and looked at the picture again. She would keep living, for him. She would try to be happy, for him and herself. Smiling, she levitated off of the ground and began to fly slowly back towards the tower.


End file.
